"Courage doesn't always ROAR, sometimes it's the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow'"
-Mary Anne Radmacher
In my case, the quote above has been applicable lately. The days I have severe panic attacks- I can't fix those days but I can do better and try harder the next day. The road to recovery doesn't seem to have short-cuts, as with all things in life worth fighting for. I will beat this, I will not suffer from this forever, God first and foremost has his hand in this issue, my family (parents & husband) are my greatest supporters, my friends from all over the country send me encouraging words, I am blessed. I must remember this, remind myself of this daily.
I finally got to sit down with my Primary Care Manager for a good 30min today, I had been seeing another doctor in the family practice, but this was with my actual PCM. We talked about EVERYTHING that has been going on with me... moving here, until today. I will be using medication (I am not thrilled, but in order to get my levels back to normal, it is needed- Quinn will be supervising, and that is all I am saying on the subject), counseling, and self-help resources. I went to the Marine Corps Community Services & Marine Corps Family Team Building locations on base today and offered my services as a volunteer. I am in an amazing women's group at my church and I pray that we will continue meeting after this current book is complete. Every night I write down my "concerns" to get them out of my head and then write down 10 "blessings" to focus on instead just before going to sleep. I read the Bible daily (which I sadly confess, hadn't happened in a long time).
I am working on improving myself, my mindset. I took a class a couple weekends ago called "In the Midst" it was amazing and had many helpful things for military spouses and women in general. Tomorrow I am signed up for a class called "The Four Lenses" supposedly it will teach me how I view the world and why others around me think differently and how to get along. Many of the ladies in the previous class raved about it, so I figured it would be worth it!
For the next month (besides the move) I am working on me... becoming a better version of the girl I was before moving here.
Praying for restful nights, no panic attacks, the anxious feeling to leave my body, and supernatural peace.
5 comments:
taylor- you have been so heavy on my heart lately! even though YOU may not see it you are handling this exceedingly well & doing everything you could possibly do! i have a little something i would like to send you- could you email me your address? katherineacannon@gmail.com
keep going! prayin for you!
Oh Taylor! I know what you are going through. I used to suffer from terrible anxiety and panic attacks as well and was on medication. It helped but what really pulled me through was God. He released me from the bondage!! It was a fantastic feeling to be free and now I'm medication free :)
There is hope in the Lord! I will keep you in my prayers girl :)
Taylor, you have been on my mind and in my prayers since you first started sharing your struggles. you seem to be doing everything you can do to deal with your anxiety and panic attacks, including medication--when appropriate and under supervision, it is a wise choice. Still, I am praying and looking towards the day when you can talk about this in the past tense.
Hi Taylor,
I have been thinking about you and praying you are doing better! I have aniexty attacks and have to take medication which really helps. When my mom was dying I went on daily medication and boy what a difference it made. I hope you start feeling better and medication is there to help you it will not be forever.
Lots of love Cathy
"Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly, Leave the rest to God".
Love you, Dad
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