The safety of an embrace

For the first time in awhile I chose to listen to the radio while stuck in traffic as opposed to my CDs. This morning I ended up on Air1, and I heard an interview with the artist Plumb. She is currently 7mo pregnant with her second child, and just completed a lullaby album. One of her statements stuck out:

"Safe is a relative term."

Obviously she is talking about her children, but the overall picture is speaking about God. We are safe in our Father's arms, but that doesn't mean that trials, suffering, and pain can't affect us. Being a Christian does not make us immune to the ills of this world. In no way did God say it would, or should we believe we are entitled to. I could list many things here that have happened to me, to my family, to close friends, and items in the world itself that I don't understand. That I don't think are fair. That I don't think should have happened. That make me mad. Sad. Angry. Confused. Irritated... and on and on.

So... am I safe?
yes

Does this guarantee tomorrow?
no

Many of you may ask: "If being a Christian doesn't mean you will escape tragedy, what's the point?" The point is... I can confidently go anywhere knowing I am safe in my Father's arms. No matter what happens God goes with me, he won't give me more than I can handle.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
-Joshua 1:9

Yes I still have fears, worry, and anxiousness... but these can be calmed simply by talking to my Heavenly Father. Let me bring it down to an "earthly" level... when you were little and you scraped your knee, who did you run to for comfort? Mom or Dad. When you couldn't figure out your homework? Mom or Dad. When you needed to apply for a job and didn't know where to start. Mom or Dad. After the boyfriend/girlfriend you thought was everything became nothing. Mom or Dad. When you need help with credit cards, loans, and taxes. Mom or Dad. When you lose a loved one. Mom or Dad.

...are you seeing the trend?

Our family and friends can provide a physical embrace that calms for the moment. I do not think there is anything more powerful than a truly genuine hug (and smile) in this day and age. You know what I'm talking about, whether it comes from a grandparent, parent, sibling, bestfriend, significant other... when you need a hug, and you receive a real one. It just does something to you. Do you feel safe in that persons arms? yes. But once you release, is that safety any less? It seems like it because we are no longer with that person, we don't feel the warmth, we don't feel the compassion.

With God, you can be in his embrace at all times.
The choice to be there is up to you.

As said on Sunday by Pastor Orr:
"Pride is the biggest thing that keeps people out of heaven."

"In My Arms" - Plumb

Wet dogs & Runny noses

This past week seemed like it would never end, yet here I am on another Sunday afternoon. Tomorrow is Monday and the start of a new week with its own obstacles to overcome. Anyway, back to last week, it is finally sinking in that this is my last semester with Esther, Lisa, and Ryan among others who I have become close friends with during my time here at ASU. Needless to say, our random longboarding quests in Downtown Phoenix, the time spent at Seamus McCaffrey's, and all of the other random adventures won't be forgotten and will definitely be missed. I'm going to have one interesting and lonely semester next August-December...

I was excited to take the dogs to the lake with my dad on Thursday afternoon. I've been so busy I feel like I never really sit down and talk to him anymore, it makes me sad. The drive there and back we talked about our lives as of recently and remembering things from the past. It was a great time! The dogs only made it more entertaining. With Lightning gone we had no one to teach Thunder and Storm how to jump off the dock. Well...dad tried, it was one of my favorite pictures from the day, haha! Thunder executed a perfect belly-flop, so maybe he kinda-sorta understood? It's so nice to actually sit outside in the sunlight as opposed to under those stupid florescent lights I get everyday at school.

Friday morning I started feeling a lil' under the weather, the typical runny nose, itchy eyes & ears. I figured it was just really bad allergies, until I went to the ASU baseball game with Lisa (we beat Cal 11-7!). About halfway through the game that "ok, I give I'm sick" feeling set in... and I've been battling that ever since. I'm going to call the doctor's office as soon as they open tomorrow morning because right now I can't afford this. Finals start this Thursday, and Quinn flies in the following one.

Quinn brings me to a completely different train of thought. My emotions towards him coming to visit lie in the nervous-excited-what do I do? area. It's painfully obvious that we both still have feelings towards eachother, unfortunately that doesn't change the situations we are in. He will be in Maryland for the next 3yrs completing his time with the Marine Corps. After which he has the opportunity to re-enlist and be stationed somewhere else. I have this summer, then one more semester here at ASU. Then I will be completing an internship hopefully out of state (not that I don't love AZ, I do...I just want to have a new experience). From there...only God knows. ...and God may be the biggest issue of all when it comes to him and I.

We're adults...when did that happen and how do we make it stop?

Where has the time gone, my LLT is now 21... happy birthday! =D This past weekend was fun, we didn't do anything crazy (weird by some people's standards for a 21st birthday) we simply went down 4th Ave. (Tucson's version of Mill Ave...). We hit both of the Irish Pubs: Maloney's and O'Malley's. Ashley, Ali, and I enjoyed a Royal Flush shot to start the evening, Ashley had Long Island Ice Tea for the remainder of the evening...while Tena enjoyed his beer. My favorite Ashley quote:

LLT- "I feel like an adult now."
Me- "Why?"
LLT- "I'm sitting in a bar!"
Me- "Yeah but you did that all summer."
LLT- "That's not the same, it was Europe. Even kids go to the bars!"

I've determined, I'm really just not into the bar scene all that much. I think if I'm going to go out, I want to be able to go out and dance to enjoy myself as opposed to just sitting around and drinking. I am also completely convinced that people are retarded. Getting drunk is absolutely ridiculous...a girl in the booth behind us totally puked all over the table and seats, then had to be practically carried to the bathroom...and evidently her "friends" didn't want to go home yet so they just put her back into the booth while they continued drinking. Really? I mean really... IDIOTS.

It was really fun being down there and away from everything normal at home. Lil J enjoyed the road trip and being spoiled by all of us, he's crashed out right now in his playpen after doing laps...the only thing he missed down there. The thing that is kind of awkward for me is whenever I go down there I'm the only single one. Ali has Scott, Lynne has Craig, and Ashley is with Tena. In no way am I saying I want to be in a relationship, sometimes I just feel lonely. I know I shouldn't, my family and friends love me, and I am working on my relationship with the Lord...it's just the human side of me I guess.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around for awhile...you might miss it.

Have you ever taken a step back from life and experienced one of those "whoa!?" moments? I guess I should be more specific... I was doing my school project at Tempe Marketplace today, I sat down alone at one of the tables in the middle of the main walking area (between Dave & Buster's, Cadillac Ranch, and San Felipe's). I was working really hard on the checklist I had to complete and the observations I needed to write down when a woman caught my eye. I couldn't tell you why, what she was talking to her husband about, where they were going or what they were planning to do...she simply caught my attention. I flashed a smile and was about to get back to work, instead I just sat there and watched the people bustling around me.

It was as if for my little table time froze and the world kept moving around me...the people walked by paying little to no attention to this girl wearing camo shoes, tan pants, and a green tie-dyed shirt (yeah yeah...don't get me started on my lack of fashion sense, haha).

Once this feeling hit, I began to wonder how many people have entered my life and just walked out. How many have drifted away. How many have left a positive impact on me, or a negative. How many people remember me... and if they do, why? What did I do to impact their life? Was it positive, or negative...do they wonder where I am, why we don't talk anymore, do they miss me, hate me?

Or, just as it was today sitting at the table alone...

Am I simply a fleeting memory that one doesn't quite know what to do with.

Relay for Life [+the rest of my week]

So this was one heck of a long week! I had my lowest of low moments, and then that on-top-of-the-world feeling all within the span of about 5 days. Intense? I'd say so...

We'll start with Wednesday, Mom and Dad are sharing Diamondbacks season tickets with two other couples. Wednesday's game started at 12:40pm, not exactly the best time for people who have to work...so guess who got them. If you guessed me, that'd be correct! I go to school just about 5 blocks away from the ballpark, so I found someone to go with me (Devin!!!) and we walked there on a beautiful and windy day. We were about an hour late thanks to my class (that didn't even have an ICA! gah...) and then the concessions...not even kidding, Devin and I were about to just run with what we had because the stupid credit card machine didn't work like 5x in a row. Anyway, here comes the best part: we got to our seats... freakin 2nd row, 3rd baseline! Best seats I've ever had =D After the game we went to Deevs house and watched Gladiator and ate the dinner of champions---Mac & Cheese.

From Devin's house I went straight to XA, completely unaware of the spiritual/emotional mess I was about to get myself into. The girls were so open, straightforward, and completely vulnerable. Needless to say, I ended up in tears...realizing just what I had gone through in past relationships. I went home shaken that evening, and the next day wasn't any better. Only after spending some time with the Lord, and having some things revealed with my mom did I begin to feel better. I find it no coincidence that I've been reading Wild at Heart since Tuesday either... just yesterday I read this and it blew me away: "But to enter a journey of initiation with God requires a new set of questions: What are you trying to teach me here? What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? What is it you want me to see? What are you asking me to let go of? In truth, God has been trying to initiate you for a long time. What is in the way is how you've mishandled your wound and the life you've constructed as a result."

Thursday we had to say goodbye to Lightening, he was suffering from heart failure and muscle atrophy. I will choose to remember the awesome memories we had with him. He had a great 13yrs!

Friday we had XA preview night, and besides my allergies acting up I think it turned out really well! I hope all the seniors that attended get plugged in to a ministry wherever they end up attending college. It has definitely shaped my life for the better and helped me to grow in my relationship with the Lord. The friendships I have made there are ones that will last a lifetime as well, no matter where we all end up.

Saturday from 12pm to Sunday at 7am was the Relay for Life. This was such an AMAZING experience... from the Survivor's Lap (I got to walk with my dad) to the Candle-lit Luminaria Walk, emotions ran deep. This year we honored my dad and uncle in the walk. The theory behind the walking, is that each team should keep at least one member on the track at all times because "cancer never sleeps," I had the opportunity to enjoy the night shifts... I walked from 11-12:30, 1-1:30, 3-4, 5-6. I couldn't pick one picture so here are some of my favorites(click on the picture to view larger):

Raising Money!!

Hey everyone, this past week has been pretty hectic for me. It was packed with projects, studying for exams, and trying to keep everything in order (which I seemed to fail at miserably). Although I did get to spend some quality time with my sister, we went out to lunch (she even paid!) and then shopping. I also had the opportunity to celebrate my LLT's birthday early with her family at Dave and Busters. Looking forward to her actual birthday in two weeks... =D

This weekend, Sat-Sun (11th-12th)... I will be participating in the Relay for Life. If you aren't aware, my father has been through chemotherapy twice for Leukemia. My uncle also passed away due to Leukemia and I never really had the chance to meet him. So this is a very big deal for my family. I need to raise a significant amount of money still, so I will be selling these for the next week/week and a half:

Click HERE to view larger!

All bracelets come in purple or pink (except the leather one...it has been discontinued in pink) and feature a heart saying: "Together we can make a difference." The suggested donation for each is ONLY $5.00. I know most people have family/friends that have been affected by cancer, these can be a daily reminder to pray for them, or they make an awesome gift for survivors! ALL proceeds go directly to the American Cancer Society to aid in further research.

Contact me ASAP if you would like to purchase one =D
Thank you so much.
God Bless!