The book: Dear John

*Warning- spoiler's for the book Dear John.
Preface: I won a contest online, the prize was a copy of the Dear John book & DVD.


At 3am last night I still couldn't sleep, I'd been tossing and turning since 2am... I had just finished the book Dear John. I finished it in 2 nights, I didn't want to read it any longer. From the very first paragraph, I knew I wouldn't like the ending. The theme of sacrificial love, was great, don't get me wrong but I hated how it was portrayed and how the book ended. It seems to give military relationships no hope. As I said before when it comes to Nicholas Sparks, I've only seen the movie A Walk to Remember and now added reading the book Dear John. Both of them left me crying and wishing it could have been different. (and both had cancer, hospitals, scenes that even though my dad is in remission... I honestly hate re-living. I feel bad about that too. I think somewhere inside of me the need to be there for others going through what I did is there, but the emotional toll it would take on me keeps me from volunteering for that...)

I think more than the ending that kept me awake thinking. The story of how Savannah & John met [they had 2wks we had 4wknds], the extremely short time spent together physically over years [they had 2mo we had 3.5mo], and the very long distance relationship [Germany & North Carolina...Arizona & Maryland] made it all to real for me. Quinn and I mirrored a lot of it... writing letters, sending packages, sending e-mail, being on the phone/computer as often as possible. The things that were said, promises that were made, arguments had. It was all too real.

So at 3am... despite knowing he had to be up at 5am, I so desperately wanted to wake him up and tell him how much I loved him, how glad I am we were faithful to each other during our long times of separation, how much I believed him when he said everything would be okay, that we had faith enough in God to make it work. To make our love work, stay entact, despite it all... distance, time, arguments. We knew that love was not just a one-time choice, it was a decision you make every day- to continue loving. I ended up not waking him, even though he would have talked if I needed it. Instead, I just wiggled under his arm and laid my head on his chest until I finally fell asleep... I'm sure I'll talk to him about it later today, which will probably be better than him waking up to a wife with tears in her eyes at 3am, haha!

I fully agree with the book saying- in a marriage there is only room for two people. I can't help the fact that even though I know it was to show sacrificial love, how people could change for the better, there was so much guilt in the book it made it all very sad. Savannah should not have given up on him...he didn't give up on her. They both live their lives... but not to the fullest, they have an ache in their hearts for something that could have been. I guess it was just not what I was expecting.

The DVD is still wrapped up all pretty in it's plastic from the store. It beckons me when I walk by and see it... but I don't want to watch it, not right now. I know Hollywood will inevitably make changes, ie: from the book...her hair is suppose to be brown and he never mentions being in the Special Forces, he calls himself an infantryman grunt. People have told me they LOVED the movie... but they also love Nicholas Sparks' books and his movie The Notebook, I never saw it... refused. Same as reading or watching Twilight. I don't know, something about it... I'll watch Dear John eventually, just not today. Not this week.