Marriage Enrichment Retreat

This past weekend was great... Quinn and I needed the time away from technology, work, chores around the house, life in general. It wasn't a "happy-go-lucky" weekend, it was structured (considering it was funded by the military and run by military chaplains), and the classes were delivered in a lecture/classroom format with small breaks and some group activities. Most activities were simply between the couples.

Our room (post bed bug check & Quinn jumping on the bed!)

Friday we arrived at our hotel around 3:45pm, we were promptly checked in and given our room assignment. We took our suitcase up and grabbed a short nap. The welcoming session was at 5pm, basically it was a run-down of how things were going to go, what was required of us, then we were released for dinner. The buffet had it all... and I mean it all! Prime rib, mahi mahi, crab legs, pasta, a full salad bar, all the sides you could want, plus a full dessert bar complete with make-your-own sundae station... we were stuffed! After dinner we had our first two sessions: "3 Keys to Communication," "Men vs Women's Brains & Special Moments of Our Love." We also learned our Myers-Briggs Personality. The second session ended at 9pm, we went to the bar by the pool and grabbed a drink.

Quinn got "the itch" and I got a "princess smoothie."

Saturday morning started at 8am with a full breakfast buffet... omelet station, waffles, pancakes, parfait station, fruit bar, juice bar, and pastry station. Talk about food overload! During the four sessions on Saturday we learned the four biggest issues in arguments and how to change the situations. We also learned an exercise called the "XYZ" to allow the other person's feelings to be known. We received a literal "floor tile" for our refrigerator to use the Speaker Listener Technique during arguments/discussions of importance. As well as learning four steps of conflict resolution and how to fight properly. Before we were sent off with our boxed lunches we wrote each other an apology letter and an appreciation letter... we ate lunch by the pool then went back to the room to enjoy the air conditioning and to read our letters (in case of emotions). After the break we went back for two more sessions, during these we learned about the 5 love languages (and were even given the book for free!) and intimacy... then at 4pm we were released for our "mandatory date night." Quinn and I had reservations for a fancy restaurant but with the amount of food we'd eaten we decided not to go after all and just play tourist! We walked around downtown Waikiki, people watched, enjoyed live music and a small dinner at the Hard Rock, and treated ourselves to some nice gifts. I didn't feel well after dinner so unfortunately we didn't walk along the beach, instead we headed back to our room and watched ASU beat USC!

View from the top floor of our hotel.

Sunday morning breakfast was once again at 8am, same delicious choices. Then we had a short church service, Quinn was even asked to read the scripture (Hebrews 13:4-8). The sermon was on "four things that never change." After service we all pitched in to returning to conference room back to it's original setting (tables & chairs, instead of rows of chairs) so we could begin the morning sessions. Since we'd already discussed Communication and Intimacy Friday/Saturday, Sunday was devoted to Finances. We learned many relevant tips including making a commitment with each other regarding purchases over $x.xx requiring us to pray for 24hrs before making the purchase. Finally we were taken to the top floor of the hotel to receive our certificate of completion and have couples photos taken. They also gave the option of doing a vow renewal, which was pretty cool... one of the couples that had been married for 12yrs decided to, it was their first weekend away from their children in a very long time.

Our "couples photograph."

It was a great experience... and we may just sign-up for another retreat after 18mo (mandatory time inbetween) have passed! I want to hold onto the memories of this weekend. We totally learned the argument style that we each use, how opposite our love languages are, and what we need to do to properly communicate.