One Year Ago

I love having this blog. In all honesty... it makes me remember, the good and the bad. I went back to the post from this weekend last year. I had just started my new job, Alexis had visited us for her birthday, we were super involved with out young marrieds group at church. LIFE WAS GOOD.

I'm not saying that life here isn't good... I'm just not where I need to be, I'm not comfortable yet with my surroundings. We have been blessed with this amazing house, we've found a new church, I've joined a women's group and am slowly getting more involved. I just don't fit, not yet. I still feel like I am adjusting, but it's hard knowing Quinn will be leaving before we've even been here for a year.

I definitely think the majority of my anxiety is stemming from the fact that since January nothing has been constant, we've been continually changing where we are, where we're living, we were without any of our possessions (that didn't fit in suitcases) for four full months, we gave away our guinea pigs, I had to sell my car and buy a new one here (which took a month itself), and many many more things. Plus, I have the "anticipation of loss" - knowing he's leaving and not knowing how I'm going to respond.

I am following the doctor's prescription as well as the counselor's self-help (cognitive behavioral therapy). I am on the prayer list at church, I read my Bible daily, write down my daily blessings, and listen to soothing music before bed. My biggest concern at the moment is finding a group of trustworthy friends to be there for me when I do need the help. I know in time that will come. I just wish everything didn't seem to take so long (Especially since we move so often! Can't we just bring our friends with us?).

Saturday night the guys had their semi-weekly poker game. Two of the other wives had decided to go into Waikiki for some drinks and tapas and asked me to join in. I had been doing well for a couple days and decided I should go out. The food was pretty tasty, I drank water only and offered to DD. Figures that my friend's car still had out of state plates on it though... we were literally 5min from the base when I turned right on a yellow light (it was yellow, there are two lanes, left hand turn lane & right hand turn lane- a car turned left as I was turning right), all of a sudden blue lights were flashing behind me. It was a female officer, she was unnecessarily rude to all of us. I was cited a $97 ticket for "running a red light!" So, it was a good/bad night.

Isabel & Emily

Sunday we went to church and I was almost brought to tears twice. First was when they had all the service members stand up for a special prayer, they followed with the spouses standing with them for another prayer. Then at the end of service the "auntie" (older Hawaiian lady) that was sitting next to Quinn and I pulled me aside and bear-hugged me telling me she would be praying for us knowing that our life was not an easy one to have! Once we got home I quickly threw together a spinach, fruit, and nut salad and rushed off to one of the ladies house from my Bible study. She was throwing a baby shower for a new military wife who didn't have many friends on island and this was her first baby. All I can say is... I'm so glad my mom taught me about having a "gift closet" (for us, a drawer). Makes last minute gifts a snap!

That's been my life lately.
I know I didn't mention Sept. 11th.
I don't know what to say... I pray that there is a way for our country to become as unified as it was for the 2yrs after the events of that day without another tragedy having to take place.